Before Steph Curry, honestly, I’d never heard of the Golden State Warriors. I mean, if I’m being ~totally self-reflective~ I’m not the biggest sports fan (obviously) and have only heard of the teams my brother’s given enough of a shit about to get angry over in our living room. Lord knows how many fights we’ve gotten into because he’s in a bad mood since the Mets lost or because the Rangers aren’t doing as well as they should. However, ever since the existence of Curry’s unbelievably adorable and already pretty betchy daughter Riley, the Warriors have made it onto my radar. Lucky them. Well, in the grand tradition of famous athletes, Steph Curry got himself a shoe deal with Under Armour, only, they’re not nearly as cool as everyone thought they would be.
ESPN reports “The all-white shoe is being dubbed the ‘Chef Curry’ and is designed to be comfortable and functional, like a chef would wear in a busy kitchen. The company said the shoes are inspired by how Curry ‘starts cooking’ like a ‘master chef’ when he goes on hot shooting streaks…The look became a popular punching bag on social media in the 48 hours between Games 3 and 4, with many users mocking them as uncool.”
Isn’t Chef a character on South Park? Like, I definitely don’t think of a cool basketball player with a hot wife and incredibly cute kids when I hear the name of these shoes. Apparently, neither do the trolls of the internet; most are comparing the shoes to those worn by Jerry Seinfeld on his show or wondering out loud how the fuck such a renowned athletic company that prides itself on “empowering athletes everywhere” could come up with a shoe for such a hot player that’s so undeniably boring.
Steph Curry and Under Armour really targeting that emergency room nurse demographic. pic.twitter.com/MPR1UTPnRI— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) June 10, 2016
In response to the mocking of the footwear designed in his namesake and like any man who signed a million-dollar contract, Curry upholds that he believes the shoes are “fire”. Under Armour, on the other hand, has declined to comment. Probably because they know they fucked up. #SucksToSuck