March 10, 2014
Having trouble finding a job where you don’t have to give up getting high 3-5 times a day? Great news, Betches, the I’m-Too-High-Right-Now State will play host to the nation’s first ever Marijuana Job Fair, a convention that will offer work opportunities in the newly-booming blaze industry. Obvs not doing work is a keystone to betchiness, but your Dad isn’t going to pay for your rent, gas money, Verizon bill, and all your weed. And if you’re willing to get a job, you might as well work in the one field that probably expects you to take mad naps during the work day. Read article>>
This week, the first commercial for pot hit the airwaves, and I’m gonna be honest, it’s really fucking weird. There’s this sketch looking dealer trying to sell dirty sushi to the audience, which I guess is supposed to be a metaphor for your former dodgy drug dealer? The ad is for a website call marijuanadoctors.com, and honestly, these stoners need to get their shit together. Like, bring on the Geico gecko and get him really blazed, or get that stupid annoying Progressive Insurance bitch and have her explain the website. Honestly, even the cold ghost of Billy Mays could yell about this website better than their current smelly-looking mascot. Read article>>
It was a good week for all the Betches at GW (and I guess also for the fucking weirdos at American). The District of Columbia Council passed a measure that would replace jail time with a civil fine for those caught with Mary Jane on hand. We knew it was only a matter of time since former stoner Barry Obama moved to Washington that getting frosty would become a non-issue in his new home. In some places in the Nation’s Capital the fine could drop to $25, which basically means that getting high in public is legal for the price of a latte and a salad at Starbucks.