July 22, 2014
Occasionally you have your guy friends who seem to get horny all of a sudden and ask you for a “pic” literally out of nowhere. Like, you could be talking about how stressed you are about finals, and then BOOM. “You know what could help you de-stress? Sending me a pic of your boobs.” Like, what the fuck? And then you don’t text him for like three weeks and shit gets weird. Now, with the rise of apps like Tinder, the mentally pre-pubescent bro population can ask strangers for such things without having to worry about the awkwardness that comes with asking a friend.
Some betchy genius decided to make a blog about all of these dudes that can’t get any by, you know, going out and actually talking to a girl. Because of the overwhelming majority of those who send a dick pic after the recipient has clearly said, “I do not want to see your penis,” happens to be male, heterosexual, and Caucasian, the anonymous girl (who clearly is a betch because DGAF and has a tab titled “Offended?” that leads to Judy Garland’s rendition of “I Don’t Care” from the musical In the Good Old Summertime) has named her blog Straight White Boys Texting. In all fairness, the phenomenon reaches all races, sexes, and orientations. But mostly straight white boys.
Although the straight white boy is known to strike suddenly at the most random moments in conversation (i.e. Girl: “Yeah, I’m eating dinner with my grandma.” Boy: “Let me see dem titties.”), sometimes it’s possible to foretell when he will strike. For example, if he proposes to play 20 Questions, the first question he will ask will probably be something along the lines of, “Do you like anal?” Or he might just straight up ask you, “Haha if you’re here, what would you do?” Probably throw a fully-grown cactus into your pants. And then there’s this dipshit who group messaged 32 of his Tinder matches.