May 8, 2015
We need to talk. I know it’s been a long time, but I just don’t think our relationship is healthy anymore. Well, it’s really never been that healthy, because you’ve been an asshole since the day we met. For months you completely ignore me, then twice a year you come around acting like you’re the most important thing in my life, and it’s just not cool. I’m completely fine when you’re gone, but when you’re here it’s like nothing else matters.
Tbh, you’re just so damn needy. Basically, you could write a textbook about all the shit you put me through. You make me stay up all night stressing out about your problems, and then I have to wake up at like 8am to deal with those problems. As if that weren’t bad enough, then you point out all the things I do wrong when I’m just trying to do the best I can to make you happy. Constructive criticism is one thing, but you’re literally impossible. Like I know I’m not perfect (shocking), but sometimes I feel like I deserve some free points just for showing up and trying.
We also need to talk about how you affect my lifestyle. When you’re around, I feel like such a slob because you consume all of my time. I barely have time for meals, so I’m forced to eat like shit for two weeks, and then I don’t even have time to go to the gym. We have lots of problems, but you know how important it is to look hot, especially right before summer. You make me so tired that I’m not motivated to clean my room or do laundry, so I look like a homeless fitness addict and I’m basically living in filth.
It’s just really not fair anymore. After you’re done fucking around with my life, you’ll go away for six months and not think about me once, but I’ll always know that it’s only a matter of time before you come around again. I’ll try to mentally prepare myself for all your bullshit, but I know that it’ll be the same all over again. For now, the best I can do is try my hardest to put up with you and pray that you leave me alone once I graduate. Good riddance, and see you in December.
Student Betches Everywhere