May 29, 2013
Dear Taken Guys Who Flirt,
To begin, thanks for your interest. I really appreciate the attention you've been giving me, not that I need anymore, and those 3-5 vodka sodas. They were super tasty. But while I can admire your persistence and interest in what I'm wearing under my dress, I'm not in the least bit interested in you. You have a girlfriend. My time is more precious than your pretentious family crest ring, so stop wasting it.
There are few things/people who are more annoying than you, TGWF. See, I flirt with you all night and give you my number only to find out later that you have a girlfriend. I could have met my husband that night but instead I end up throwing around my
kind sarcastic words and flirting techniques on a lost cause. (To the girls who say it's not a lost cause: sorry but cheating is not cute and neither are you.)
There goes a night gone, but now you have my number and now there's evidence I was flirting with you. So if your girlfriend tracks it back to me, which is pretty easy since betches don't #107 branch out, I'm the bitch trying to steal her boyfriend. So now I have to start crossing my fingers that this girl isn't a jealous psycho because if she is then I'm totes automatically screwed because the combination of BSCB and Frenemy are hazardous. I have a lot of things to do, pregames to host, and tests to cheat on, the last thing I need is another frenemy on my radar. Especially one who is out for my super chic blood.
So, Taken Guys Who Flirt, keep your relationship drama to yourself; I don't need to get involved in any weird heated couple's hate/love triangle. As a betch in training I discovered that there's more to life than being ridiculously good looking and that includes meeting guys who are equally as good looking but available as well.
Not Yours (unless you break up with your girlfriend),