November 17, 2014
To That Guy Who Bought Me A Shot,
Thank you for handing me a Fireball shot before I even had the chance to politely decline, learn your name, or even drunkenly process how cute you really are in this dim lighting. As the burning sensation in my throat subsides, I will be a lady and thank you for the shot because even betches know manners matter (sometimes). With that being said, your five dollar investment in my buzz does not give you free range to claim me as your property for the night.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the drunken thought and I’m flattered you thought I was attractive enough to want to know better via liquid bribery. If I find there’s a spark between us, I’m more than happy to continue this conversation further. Plenty of great people have met and hit it off through this intoxicated act of chivalry. Any great country music star has at least one hit song about buying a pretty girl a shot at the bar and the rest of the night being full of dancing, kissing, and late night bar good times. But this is not always the case...
Some men seem to have the impression that because they’ve bought you a drink, you are reqiured to shun all other people at the bar and give them your undivided attention. After shots are bought and taken, words are exchanged. Topics often include names, location, jobs, and agendas for the night. When common interests are found, the conversation may continue. But sometimes - you both have nothing in common other than the churning feeling in your stomach post shot. Almost any betch can relate to the situation where you find that you and your shotquantience will probably not hit it off, and you need to find a way out of this conversation and back to your friends. If you’re drunk enough, you’ll probably just do an Irish exit and walk away mid-sentence. Those of us not trying to seem like a huge bitch will most likely excuse ourselves to the bathroom, explain that we must go check on our friend, or head outside for some air. Most guys will feel the same vibes you do and part ways, or they’ll be drunk, clueless idiots and will continue to follow you around.
Bottom line, we really do appreciate the shot. And more often than not, as long as you’re not creepy or belligerent, we’ll continue talking through part of the night. But know that buying us a shot or a drink doesn’t mean we’re going to sleep with you. It doesn’t even mean we’re going to spend our night glued to your hip. We came to the bar to socialize, and that’s exactly what we plan to do. Thank you sir, and enjoy your night.