Sugar and Spice (Cake) and Everything Fattening

By Betchy Crocker

Maybe you have company coming into town. Maybe you need something to eat while you drink coffee. Maybe you’re desperately trying to prove you don’t suck at all things kitchen-related. Easy recipes like this sugar and spice cake help you realize your full potential OR complete lack thereof.

I get that in the comments you’ll let me know you don’t eat etc etc, however, enjoy getting fat once you do finally binge and your metabolism is fucked up. EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. God.


  • 1 1/3 cup sugar
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tbsp baking powder
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 2 tsps cinnamon
  • ¼ cup chocolate chips
  • ½ cup walnuts, chopped

Preheat the oven to 350. Also, grease and flour a 9x5x3 loaf pan. Set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together 1 cup of the sugar, the flour, the salt, and the baking powder. In a separate small bowl, mix together the cinnamon, 1/3 cup of the sugar, the walnuts, and the chocolate chips. In yet another fucking bowl, mix together the egg, vanilla, vegetable oil, and milk.

Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture and stir BY HAND NOT BY YOUR FANCY KITCHENAID MIXER until juuuuust combined.

Pour half of your batter into the prepared loaf pan. Sprinkle half of the cinnamon and chocolate mixture evenly over the top. Carefully layer the remaining batter – spreading it evenly but not like, destroying the cinnamon goodness underneath. Top with the remaining cinnamon mixture. Then, take a knife draw through the batter to “marble” and make this shit amazing. 

Place in the oven for 40-55 minutes, until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Eat during the Bachelor finale or like whenever since apparently we’re never wearing bikinis again.




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