May 10, 2015
Summer is officially starting, which means betches everywhere will soon put their sunglasses on and won't remove them until, like, the end of September. Sunglasses, as we've illustrated before, are one of life's most important accessories because they inform everyone that you don't want anything to do with them, you're wealthier/better/cooler/more stylish than they are, and may or may not be hiding the fact that you're still drunk from last night. But to really take your look to the next level, it's best to know which sunglasses go best with your face type. I'm not a fucking scientist, but I did stare at a bunch of celebrities faces online for hours, so like, where's my PhD? Read the guide below so you can find the pair of sunglasses you'll never take off because the sun never sets on the cool.
Like Kate Bosworth and Haley Dunphy, you have those childlike good looks. You're going to want to add angular lines to balance out the roundess of your face. Square frames add the definition this kind of girl needs, while making you look like the third Olsen sister. Beware of round glasses as they tend to just make you look more circular. The kind of circular that might have the sales girl suggesting you try Sears instead.
A square face may not sound appealing, but you know what else goes on squares? Paintings. And you're a goddamn work of art, girl. Plus, Selena Gomez and Cameron Diaz share your Spongebob-esque head shape, so you are def in good company (in a pineapple under the sea). Just as square frames balance out a round face, round frames—you guessed it—balance out a square face. These sunglasses from Prada and Oliver Peoples could make a block look stylish, so there's no telling what they could do for a betch like you!
Unlike the square and circular betches of previous paragraphs, you are going to want to match your face rather than contrast it. Think Kendall Jenner and Reese Witherspoon for this face shape. (Someone may have suggested bangs for you at one time or another...) Aviators are great because they match the face shape with wide set lenses, and cat-eyes pull the eye inward to better balance your gorgeous face.
The hottest head shape, and I'm not just saying that because I think it's mine, but you are in the company of the Queen Bey herself. Luckily, this type of face shape allows you to pull off an array of looks. Cat eyes and oversized glasses are probably the best bet to break up your face, but beware of the bug eye. (See: Paris & Nicole on The Simple Life)
In lieu of just wearing those free party glasses the latest DJ you saw threw out, go for something more betchy. You can try Lana Del Rey’s heart-shaped glasses or Wendy Peppercorn’s white cat eyes for styles so unique they’ll make a statement regardless of face shape.