Super Bowl: Making Over Your Fattening Food

By Betchy Crocker

On Sunday, most betches will gather around their televisions, ready to partake in a gorge-fest with their man friends whilst pretending to love football. Even if you do enjoy watching the game, the highlight of the Super Bowl is obv the drinking and the food.

However, there seems to be a horrible tradition of shitty, greasy, fatty, calorie-ridden food being served at every Super Bowl party of all time, ever. To help combat this, we rounded up four of our fav “lightened up” ideas for your game day party. Here’s to not putting on 5 lbs.

Not horrible for you chili:

If you want to make chili minus a lot of the fat do the following things to your fav recipe:

a.      Trade out ground beef for ground turkey
b.      Toppings should be light – reduced fat cheese, NO sour cream (or light); avocado, salsa
c.      If the recipe calls for chicken or beef stock, use beer instead. It’ll actually be less calories. 

Nachos that won’t give you a stroke:

If you totally need nachos (and we totally get that), make a few swaps. First, skip the meat UNLESS you’re going to use something like poached low fat chicken. Next, reduced fat cheese in place of any kind of cheese sauce etc. will significantly cut the calories. Add fresh jalapenos on top for a kick along with a few dollops of fresh salsa. If you need beans to be involved, opt for cooking your own with bacon and beer then sprinkling them over the top. Serve sour cream and any other fattening shit ON THE SIDE, so people can add at their own risk.


We all fucking love wings on game day, but make your own to save on the calories. Mix together ½ cup vodka, ¼ cup lemon juice, 3 tbsps sugar, salt and pepper, and 1 tbsp olive oil and coat about 2 ½ lbs of wings in a large bowl – marinate for like 2 hours. Remove from the bowl and place on a foil-lined 9x13 baking pan. Bake at 400F for 1 hr 15 mins minutes until they’re nice and crispy. You just cut like, 200 calories, so congrats.


Most of us need some sort of creamy dip for our celery sticks (obv you’re not eating chips). To create a fun black and white dip, puree a can of cannellini beans with 2 cloves of garlic, 2 tbsps white onion, and 3 tbsps parmesan cheese. Remove and place on ONE side of a bowl. Wipe out the food processor and this time, combine a can of black beans, 1 tbsp cumin, 1 chipotle pepper, and 1 tbsp of adobo sauce. Remove and place on the other side of the bowl, next to the white dip. Yay, symmetry.  




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