Taylor Swift Makes Fortune's Most Powerful Women List

By Queen Elizabetch

So Fortune is super into making lists of who's hot and who's not. It's like a more legit version of BuzzFeed. Fortune 500 - ever heard of it? Well they recently released their list of the 50 Most Powerful Women, and for some highly questionable reason Taylor Swift made the cut.

I'm not going to pretend like I didn't listen to "Blank Space" 15 times yesterday or that she's not a talented musician. But seriously, being "a nightmare dressed like a daydream" now qualifies someone to be one of the 50 Most Powerful Women in the world? I'm calling bullshit.

The other women on the list are all CEOs or high-up executives. Indra Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo, owns Gatorade and Doritos, so she's pretty much the only thing standing between us and a monster hangover on a Thursday morning. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, makes sure that we have somewhere to post photos that make our Wednesday nights look like My Super Sweet 16. Susan Wojcicki, CEO of YouTube at Google, makes sure we get to watch videos of betchy cats and 5 minute ads before Vevo music videos.

What would we do without those women and their companies? Be hungover, bored, and have lower self esteem. So wtf is Taylor Swift doing on that list? The only reason I can possibly think of is that she has absolute control over teenage girls. She got Apple to change iTunes' policy with a barely literate, 200 page Tumblr post. She and her clique directly influence the entire 12-35 year old age group. And she's the shadiest ex-girlfriend of all time.

So I guess the whole point of this lis is that you can go to college and grad school and get a real job and work for your entire life in a boring office with beige paint, or you can write mediocre songs and make bank.





Powered by Disqus




Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login