December 15, 2014
Taylor Swift turned 25 this weekend and her birthday party was sickeningly amazing. She pretty much invited every famous person she knows to her apartment, and they casually hung out. I didn't even know she was friends with most of these people. Quick list: Beyonce, Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, Karlie Kloss, Selena Gomez, Sam Smith, Emma Roberts, Kelly Osborne, Nick Jonas, Olivia Culpo, Chrissy Teigen, and that guy from The Fault in Our Stars.
I kind of think that Taylor is starting a Hollywood clique to fight her frenemies aka Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, and single, straight, white men. They have meetings, which they publicize on social media, and brainstorm ways to destroy the people they don't like. In this metaphor Taylor is the Karen to Beyonce's Regina George.
Like, tbh I bet Taylor is really fun to get drunk with because she'd be really happy and dancey at first and then around 2 am you'd have the best drunk heart to heart. Plus, her apartment is probably flawlessly decorated, she always pays for alcohol, and she'd never let you drunk eat. Hbd Taylor, here's to another year of our love-hate relationship.