August 14, 2014
Time to sound like an old person when I say, back in my day the music was so much better. The crop tops were shorter, the waistbands were lower, the fanny packs were…fanny pack-ier, and like Eminem said, nobody listened to techno. Let’s take a look at everything that was better about music when we were younger.
Remember Mmbop? WTF is an Mmbop, or what are the words to half that song, while we’re at it? When the Spice Girls wanted to “zig a zig ahhh,” was anyone ever able to find out what they want? For that matter, is Macarena even a word in Spanish? Nobody knew, but nobody cared, and that’s why songs with made up words are the first on this list.
Real talk: NSYNC and BSB put One Direction and the Biebs to shame. First off, they knew what’s up. None of this “You don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful” shit. No. It was “I Want it That Way” or “It’s Gonna Be Me,” aka real man shit. Not to mention that when AJ developed a drug problem (yeah that happened…#throwback) they managed to keep that shit relatively quiet, rather than bombarding us with our childhood idols’ colossal fuckups every 3 days.
I don’t care if you’re Usher’s manager, you can’t deny that Usher will never be as good as he was in the early 2000’s. From Burn to Yeah to My Boo to Confessions II (I could go on for days but I’ll stop at U Remind Me), it was just hit after hit after hit. Sorry but Climax will never even come close to the level of greatness that Ush once had. Sucks but we just gotta let it burn.
TO THE WINDOWWWWWWW TO THE WALL! TILL YOU DISCOVER THE MEANINGS BEHIND THE WORDS YOU’RE SAYING AND YOU REALIZE ALL ADULTS FROM ’00-’04 WERE EXTREMELY NEGLIGENT IN LETTING THIS SHIT GET PLAYED EVERYWHERE!
Along the same vein, back when Pac and Biggie were alive rappers actually got into legit feuds over stuff. Nowadays all the “beef” they have with each other is just bullshit PR crap no one GAF about. No one’s getting shot because you “called them out” on Twitter. We don’t even have a good East Coast/West Coast rivalry anymore. I mean who’s comparable these days, A$AP Mob vs. TDE??? Now I don’t promote gun violence, but a good ol’ fashion unsolved murder could do wonders for the movement is all I’m sayin’.
Not that I don’t love my boyfriend’s cameos on Law & Order SVU,I do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t long for the days back when Luda moved, I moved, just like that. At least his legacy lives on every time I tell a bitch to move. Him and Ur-sher gotta get back in the studio, though.
Now Will is a Scientologist so he’s at least 60% insane and a questionably bad parent…I miss the good ol’ days when Will was the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and one half of the duo Fresh Prince & DJ Jazzy Jeff. Somebody bring the high top fade back because After Earth was shit.
Where ma ladies at?! Between Destiny’s Child, TLC, The Spice Girls, girl groups were IT back in the day. Who do we have now? Correct me if I’m wrong but there hasn’t been a popular female group since The Pussycat Dolls…or Danity Kane, if they were ever at all relevant.
OK, I'm too nostalgic to function. I’m making a Throwback playlist on Spotify and that’s all I’m listening to from now on. Deal with it.