June 11, 2015
Charlie Puth just can't stop. Not only is his touching, yet somehow growingly irritating, song "See you again" (a tribute to Paul Walker) always on the fucking radio, but there's this other song he has called "The 90s" that you've probably heard at every pregame you've been at in the past two weeks. If you haven't you probably need to stop being the annoying friend who says she loves to stay in and cancel your Netflix subscription.
Well betches aren't just obsessed with this song, but in other 90s related shit, they're all about scrunchies. Remember when you were a betchy child and your mom would try to dress you up to look put together and cute, but you would refuse to leave the house without your favorite hot pink scrunchie.
Whoever said everything that's old is new anything clearly was kind of right because betches everywhere are reverting back to their childhood behaviors. Not only are we sneaking naps midway at work and laying down in public (after a round of tequila shots), we're also wearing hair accessories that we had thousands of (in every color) as a kid.
This isn't just some weird trend that came out of nowhere. It was originally seen on the runway when models were looking starved as usual, but now with scrunchies in their hair. If they weren't like 8 feet tall we'd probably mistake them for toddlers TBH.
Since stacking random bracelets on our wrists are also other favorite pastime of very busy betches, we love to wear them on our wrists too as sort of a statement that yup, we're totally trendy even though we bought this poufy, black hair tie at Duane Reade like ten minutes ago for $3.50. A much cheaper alternative to keeping up with shit when your dad keeps threatening to cut you off if you don't chill with the Amex.
Buying scrunchies is not something you'll get judged for just don't put that shit in your hair when you go out on the weekends or to the office. If people didn't question your maturity (after seeing your blackout actions) or your work ethic (after catching you checking your Snapchat stories in your cubicle) before, they definitely will now..