December 4, 2014
If you’re a betch that’s chosen to participate in this year’s Hunger Games of cuffing season, one of the biggest pains is bringing your temp boyfriend home for the holidays. Maybe his family is on the other side of the country or maybe you guys are just like suuuper delusional in love already, but either way he’s found himself at your parent’s house (ugh). As if the unavoidable awkwardness isn’t enough, the only thing less sexy than your second trimester food baby from Holiday party food and White Russians is your childhood twin size bed. It’s inevitable that you guys are going to try and hook-up, after all what else is there to do in your shitty hometown? Honestly you’ll do just about anything to avoid agonizing meet-ups with your former high school friends who went on to drop out of community college and are now in their fifth year at a Paul Mitchell institute. This combination of nostalgia and misery is enough to make you DTF in your twin size bed. Spoiler alert: no one actually ever likes it either. Between the loud springs on your fifteen-year-old day bed and your little brother sleeping in the room next to you it’s never worth it, but you’ll attempt anyways.
So here’s to this season’s cuffing tributes, we don’t volunteer to be you.