The Betches' Guide to Friend Flirting

By Jane Duh

Betches are constantly getting rid of old shit and replacing it with shiny new shit. This usually goes for things like clothes, phones, and bags, but can also be true for friends. Outside of your core circle of besties, life is a constant swirl of meeting new people, waiting for them to prove to you that they're cool, and then finding out that they're def not. For the most part, these people will come in and out of your life in a blur of compliments and desperate attempts to get you to hang out with them and at the end of their run you'll only kind of remember their name. Whatever. Your presence is a present.

Sometimes, though, you meet a person who might actually be legit interesting to talk to and that is where Friend Flirting comes in. Friend Flirting is the scientific process through which an acquaintance is tested and then promoted to a bestie, and it almost always begins on the internet. You can always tell when two people are Friend Flirting because they are all up each other's social media butts. While we haven't done like, scientific research on this, we're pretty sure that over half of all internet users are Friend Flirting at any given time. When Friend Flirting, it is important to remember to make the friend you're flirting with feel special by RTing her and faving all her pics and commenting about how good she looks. Remember, the easiest way to a betch's heart is through her profile.

The next stage of Friend Flirting is to make up some inside jokes and then never stop talking about them. A big part of Friend Flirting is establishing that both of you find each other to be hilarious and dgaf if anybody else thinks so. This means that anything that happens between the two of you during the Friend Flirting period is fair game to become an inside joke. The two of you think that your professor looks like a really old Ryan Gosling? Get ready for two weeks of texting "Old Gos" back and forth and loud, public laughing, and pretending that you can't explain what's so funny to other people.

Once your Friend Flirting period is over and you feel confident this girl isn't a secret freak, it's time to take the relationship to the next level, aka posting a pic of the two of you looking really good and captioning it either "love this girl," or any of the lyrics from Drunk in Love. This is like changing your friend relationship status and shows the world that the flirting is over and you're ready to make things official. This is also an important step because you can delete the pic later once you guys friend break-up. Remember guys, fast besties are fake besties.




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