May 21, 2014
Summer is here, betches, and that means summer internships. I know what you’re thinking: betches hate doing work. However, we also have, like legit career goals (and our moms said spending the summer doing nothing was “unacceptable”, so whatever). It’s for this reason we bring you the betches’ guide to summer internships: everything you need to know to still be a betch for your 2 ½ months as somebody’s bitch.
Initially, getting a summer internship might seem like a total drag. What do you mean this shit’s unpaid? And I’m missing out on ALL the good tanning hours! This is why it’s important to get an internship somewhere fun and edgy, like LA or NYC. Sure, you might spend all day doing bitch work and logging shit onto excel, but your instas will still make your friends back home totally jealous.
Dress for the job you want, right? An internship the perfect excuse to go shopping. God, I feel so business-y in my blazer! Make sure to tell your dad that those new heels you charged aren’t just a new pair of shoes, they’re an investment in your future. Who can argue with logic like that?
Nowhere will your ability to be fake nice be tested more than your internship. Sure, I would love to make those copies for you! If you get pissed, let it out honey, put it in the book…and by book I mean text to your bestie complaining about how annoyed you are. They had me get coffee AGAIN. Who do they think I am? The fucking intern?
If your boss takes everyone out for drinks after, know that that is NOT the time to take advantage of free booze. On that note, you should probably not show up to your internship hungover. Nothing will make you want to kill yourself more than having to make a thousand copies after a night of tequila shots. Also, apparently vomming at work is “unprofessional” and makes people judge you. Losers.
Above all, keep your head down, do your shit, and make sure to peace out as soon as the clock strikes 5PM. Remember, you’re gaining like sooo much professional experience! And, you know, coming up with even more shit you can BS on your resume.