The Betches' Guide To Wearing Tights

By Miss Ameribetch

Given the choice between tights and no tights, betches generally prefer none, but like a Sunday morning hangover, we’ve also learned how to accept them as a part of our routine. For whatever reason, bros, on the other hand, seem to be obsessed with them.

Maybe they watched The Graduate growing up or maybe it’s just that tights remind them of lingerie, we’re not really sure, but betches know that when we put on the occasional pair of Wolfords, they make a bro go crazy.

As baby betches, we learned about clean lines from our pink tights in ballet class. Like we kind of get why superheroes are so into spandex, a little bit of stretchy fabric can go a long way.

Tights deserve their special praise for giving betches a way to dress slutty even when there’s a blizzard out. Everyone knows that holiday dresses are some of the sluttiest outfits you can wear while still being a classy betch. If it wasn’t for tights, we’d all have leg pneumonia probably.

Just like you text your group chat what color everyone’s wearing so you’re not like the only one in red, you check before you put on tights. If it’s like dead winter, chances are everyone’s wearing them, but you wouldn’t want to be the only one in the group pic with tights on. Or vice versa. Awk.

Choice of tights obviously go with Wolford. Like nothing else compares. Unless you’re wearing fishnets, then a pair of dance tights like Capezio or Bloch are the way to go. They’re like durable and French cut, perfect if your hemlines run short.

As our birthdays have taught us, presents are always better when they’re wrapped nicely, and our legs deserve the same.




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