July 24, 2014
The second episode of Candidly Nicole aired last night and Nicole Richie is quickly proving herself to be one of the funniest betches on TV. Last night she tried and failed to chaperone her younger sister Sophia's pool party but wound up getting drunk and riding the slip n' slide with her friends instead. Sounds like exactly how we'd handle that responsibility too.
Check out the betchiest quotes from the show:
On the rules for the guests at Sophia’s party: “You can’t be on the second half of fifty.”
Nicole: “My wardrobe for my chaperone look is responsible. Cool. Sexy. Fuckable.”
“As a Jew I’m closer to an optometrist than either of you.” – Moshe.
Sophia on Nicole trying to ban sugar at her party: "I think sugar is fine because we’re not infants."
Nicole: "No drinking, no smoking, no doing drugs, no spin the bottle. No naked jump roping. No orgy hula hooping."
Sophia: "This sounds like you’re having flashbacks or something."
Nicole on contacts: “I just don’t like foreign things inside of me. I stopped that in college.”
Optometrist: "I don’t know what ecstasy feels like."
Nicole: "Clearly you didn’t go to college."
Optometrist: "This is how you live your life. Almost blind."
Nicole: "Your hands smell great."
Nicole to the party guests: "Please take a condom and wristband and get out of my face.”
**Side note: This party actually looks awesome and I would like to attend.
Sophia: "It feels like it’s your party and you're flashing back a couple of years."
Nicole: "Why because I walked on the grass?"
Nicole: "Some of the chaperones got out of control."
Sophia: "Including you."