November 26, 2014
Pope Francis has only been around for a year and has already established himself as the most badass pope in history (not that there was a lot of competition there). He has a twitter. He thinks you can go to heaven even if you’re an atheist, because it does not say RSVP on the pearly gates. He takes selfies with fans. He’s pro-gay rights, pro-choice, and anti-priests molesting children. He’s not a regular pope, he’s a cool pope.
But all of that pales in comparison to his latest achievement. The pope has reached holy betch status by publicly and unapologetically talking shit about the entire continent of Europe. He literally showed up at a European Parliament meeting and called them haggard and infertile. Pope Francis showed up 15 minutes late to a meeting attended by every important person in Europe with Starbucks in hand, stayed long enough to sign in for attendance, and then threw down an almighty BYE FELICIA.
"In many quarters we encounter a general impression of weariness and aging, of a Europe which is now a "grandmother," no longer fertile and vibrant. As a result, the great ideas which once inspired Europe seem to have lost their attraction, only to be replaced by the bureaucratic technicalities of its institutions."