March 19, 2015
Open relationships are like car accidents – you know people get into them all the time, but you never really think it could happen to you. When considering an open relationship, there are several things to keep in mind. The first and most important is: who’s choice is this? If it’s not your idea and you had nothing to do with the discussion in the first place, then say bye Felicia to your bro because it’s a trap. We all know men love the idea of open relationships, much like in theory they all want to have a threesome, but when it gets to logistics things get a bit more complicated. Sometimes, open relationships can work beautifully, but this involves it being a mutual decision from the start, not a cowardly cop-out on the bro’s end.
Here are the pros and cons broken down for you.
Freedom. You’re not sure if you’re ready to settle down, but you also really like this bro. You’re also past the casual hook-up phase and you feel guilty about talking to other bros, even though you’re not technically “official”. Defining your relay as open is a great move here, because now you’re both free to talk to other people without feeling guilty.
You know exactly where you stand. Having an open relationship doesn’t mean that he’s in 3 other open relationships. You’re his only #1 and anyone else you both talk to are just concubines in your relationship castle. You know this because you feel that way about him as well. You enjoy the freedom of flirting with other bro’s but you’re both going home with each other at the end of the night.
Chances are, you probably won’t hook up with other people. A weird psychological thing happens when you tell someone they can’t do something – they want to do it so bad. The opposite happens as well. If you tell someone they can have anything they want on the menu, they’ll probably go back to their ol’ favorite dish instead of branching out. Knowing you have the freedom to stray keeps you from really trying to start anything with another bro. Plus, if neither of you have broken the seal of outside relations, chances are you don’t want to be the first to do so either. It’s like you’re just waiting to call each other’s bluffs.
Experience. Okay, so let’s say you are one of those exceptional few girls who really doesn’t care if your bro hooks up with other girls because you want to do the same. The plus side of keeping things open is the sex will be hotter than most relationship sex, given that you’re both logging double practice time. Plus, the sex you have with him will surmount outside sex, because you care about each other. So you’re basically setting yourself up for a spike every time you two get back together.
Nobody’s going to want to talk to you about your relationship. And if they ask, seriously, shut up. Nothing’s worse than someone who won’t shut up about their open relationship. It makes us think you’re on the defensive already. So, when your besties ask you how things are going with Brad, prepare to just lie or get shade thrown because betches don’t want to hear about how happy you are in your pool of infidelity.
STD’s. Seriously. How many times have you freaked out and gotten blood tests even if you hadn’t had sex in months? The anxiety of both of you having more partners opens you up to the possibility of all sorts of things. You can decide to both use protection outside but people get drunk and do you really trust him enough to get tested after every new partner? Nah.
Jealousy. We’re not talking about betches getting jealous. If you get jealous of your bro then you shouldn’t be in an open relationship because let’s face it, you just want a relationship. But bro’s get jealous. If he’s never been in one before and he thinks it’s the coolest idea ever, get ready for him realizing he doesn’t want to hear about the pro athlete you met at the Hamptons last weekend.
So, open relationships can sometimes work, but before you get into one, be sure you’re not actually looking for a relationship. Betches don’t settle and as a reminder - being single is as open as you can get.