August 8, 2014
So while Queen Bey looked fucking hot in her On the Run tour, Miley looked… well like a steamroller ran over her a million times in her Bangerz tour. We’ve decided to comment on the outfits in hopes that her stylist will hide under a rock for the rest of her life. Also can we talk about how she’s “crafting” now and it looks like she’s gathering a bunch of stuff from the local garbage can and putting it together like a three year old whose been exposed to some ecstasy?
1. Miley is literally wearing a body suit of golden weed leaves. But wait it gets better… there is a gold chain around her neck. Is she going for the gangsta look? Maybe she needs to be reminded that she’s from Tennessee? Awkward…
2. Who is vain enough to wear their own face on their body (besides us of course)? This betch! And it’s not even a hot photo… or a funny photo. It’s just a fucking weird one. Please put your tongue back in your mouth Miley, why is it so pointy?
3. Why is there a large mouth on your chest and ass? That’s not where mouths belong Miley please go back to the 1st grade and learn your body parts.
4. That awkward moment when you try to channel Cher and she hates you… Also it kinda looks like you’re at the circus Miley, I guess you may as well be.
5. And we’re just going to stick this hat that she crafted in here… As our main betch Regina George would say, “it’s so cute!” (aka it’s the fugliest thing I’ve ever seen). Can this even be considered a hat?