May 21, 2015
Good morning, idiot hookers. The Scream Queens trailer came out on Tuesday, and in just two minutes we were provided with enough one liners to last us until the premiere this fall. Thank God for Emma Roberts.
Screams Queens is a comedy/horror series from the minds of Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan, set to premiere in September 2015. Ryan Murphy is the same guy who brought us Glee and American Horror Story, which means that the first season is bound to be great and then it’s a free-for-all from there on out.
In 1995, some girl is mysteriously murdered in the middle of a party at Kappa Kappa Tau. Twenty years later, a Kappa legacy shows up and rushes despite every single male in her life begging her not to because “sororities are EVIL.” But it turns out that there is real evil is afoot at Wallace University, in the form of a serial killer in a red devil suit who is stalking/murdering Kappas left and right. As if recruitment season wasn’t fucking terrible enough.
Emma Roberts returns in either the only role she knows how to play or the only role she wants to play, the HBIC of Kappa. Either way, we’re fans. Her name is Chanel Oberlin and she leads a pack of four other Kappa Chanels that aren’t even credited with last names on IMDB, essentially making them a grown up version of the Ashleys from Recess. It's basically the return of Madison Montgomery, but she swapped out the body cons and all black for pearls and pastels.
Jamie Lee Curtis plays the dean of the college who, shocker, HATES sororities and Emma Roberts’ character in particular. She lays down a new law for recruitment: any girl who rushes gets a bid. This in itself is more horrifying than the looming serial killer.
I wouldn’t call the cast all-star, but definitely full of names you know and would like to see act out a sorority murder mystery: Abigail Breslin, Ariana Grande, Nasim Pedrad, Niecy Nash, Lea Michele and Keke Palmer just to name a few. Most importantly, and the reason we will absolutely be tuning in this September: Nick Jonas plays a douchey frat bro who is shirtless at least once in the preview. Sold.