June 2, 2015
E.L. James decided that the catastrophic failure of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie warranted another book. She's writing a new book called Grey that is the exact same fucking story but written from Christian Grey's point of view aka exactly what Stephanie Meyer did with Twilight. I get that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but at what point is it just plagiarism?
E.L. says that she wrote Grey for "those readers who asked...and asked...and asked...and asked for this," so like 19 housewives who just dropped the kids off at soccer and have two hours before the have to start cooking dinner. The whole point of the book is to read what Christian was thinking while he seduced Ana. Spoiler Alert: It goes something like "I want to fuck her in my Red Room." The book will be released on June 18th aka Christian's b-day, and if you knew the importance of that date off the top of your head then you should probs reevaluate you entire life.
Props to E.L. who's probably about to make a shit ton of money from this Kris Jenner-esque money grab. She truly is the master of "if it ain't broke, but still terrible quality, don't fix it..