Dear Betch, I Think I'm Pregnant And I'm Freaking Out

By Sgt. Olivia Betchson

Dear betch,

I had unprotected sex last weekend, and didn't take the morning after pill until 4 days after. I have to wait another 2 weeks until I can take a test and I am fucking freaking out. These next two weeks are really important for me in terms of work, and I can't get my mind off the fact that I may be pregnant.

The guy and I aren't together anymore, so I can't look to him for support, and I really don't want to tell my friends about it. I'm shit scared and don't know what to do. I can't stop looking online to see what symptoms are, I'm seriously paranoid at this point.

Anxious as fuck

Dear Alison Scott,

Jesus, shit just got real, real quick. I’ll be the first to say that I’m not a doctor so maybe don’t take my word as gospel, but the first thing you want to do is get the fuck off WebMD. They should just rename that site at this point.

Unless you’ve been spending the mornings face-first in your toilet (which I’m not sure that would even happen so early on in a pregnancy anyway because, again, still not a doctor), you need to chill tf out.Take a fucking Xanax, that is literally what they are for. Next, tell one of your besties about your scare because the only thing worse than being pregnant is being pregnant and alone…which sounds like a new MTV reality show title. Finally, still not a doctor (and this is not to say that unwanted pregnancy never happens) but just to put things in perspective a little, it can be hard to get pregnant even when you’re actively trying. Take deep breaths, at  the very least it will prepare you for going into labor.

Too soon?

The Betches




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