December 22, 2014
2014 has been a really unfortunate year for men’s hair. The most offensive cut, by far, has been the side shave, Elvis top thing that has been going on. Like most ugly things, I tried to ignore it, but it just won’t die.
When did this start? Years ago. The ugly started a long time ago when Pauly D rocked the look on Jersey Shore, and it even looked awful in 2009. But it was Pauly D who doesn’t deserve attention as a legitimate arbiter of taste, style or hair.
Unfortunately, over the past year or so, the the style seeped into the mainstream. Starting with Bruno Mars, who is not one to imitate. This seems intuitive but, maybe not. For those who haven’t deduced this, Bruno has a problem. He’s a real nugget and needs to do everything possible not to appear 5’2”. That is why he has 7 inches of greased hair and probably wears lifts. Sorry Bruno. But just because Bruno Mars has a haircut doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
Somehow people keep missing that. Celebrities young and old have adopted this look, and the results vary, but generally lean towards embarrassing and ugly. The worst part of this whole stylistic misstep is the everyday version. Street style. No doubt everyone has had the experience of seeing a heard of tweens, all with the same awful grass-man haircut milling about. Nothing about it is okay.
The good news is that unlike the unfortunate side shave debacle of 2012, (some are still reeling from that mistake) there’s an easy fix! Just shave the top off, like foam on a latte. Get rid of it. It does nothing for you. Please and thank you.