Three MORE Detox Recipes

By Betchy Crocker

Because I know the struggle is real when it comes to cleanses, juicing, etc. I’ve compiled three MORE detox recipes that a) aren’t liquid-based and b) won’t make you want to kill yourself.

Beet, blood orange, and mint salad

Vegetables make you feel full, and citrus makes you feel refreshed. Naturally, this salad will fucking help you feel super detoxed. Steam beets (or buy pre-steamed ones in the produce section) then combine with quartered blood oranges – white pith removed. Add fresh chopped parsley (helps with your breath…no joke) and mint (mmm refreshing). In a small bowl, combine 3 tbsps lemon juice with 3 tbsps Champagne vinegar, 1 small diced shallot, 1 tsp honey, ¼ cup olive oil, salt and pepper. Drizzle over the salad, toss and eat. Totes vegetarian too, betch.

All the veggies soup

Vegetables are our friend for tricking us into thinking we’re totes satisfied with eating them when we’re like, not. In a slow cooker, combine one chopped and peeled sweet potato, 3 sliced carrots, one small diced onion, one minced clove of garlic, a dash of allspice, salt and pepper, 1 tsp paprika, 1 bay leaf, 2 cups of vegetable broth, and 1 can of diced tomatoes. Set the slow cooker to cook on low 6-8 hours. Add some spinach just before serving. One whole cup is only 137 calories YASSSS.

Farro Winter salad

I’ve already told you how fucking trendy farro is, so I assume you’ve already cooked it. Combine 1 tsp fresh orange zest with 1 tbsp each fresh orange and lemon juice. Add in 1 tbsp of fresh grated ginger and ¼ cup olive oil. Pour over cooked farro, add in ¼ cup golden raisins, ¼ cup dried sour cherries, 1/3 cup roasted salted pistachios, ¼ cup chopped mint, and 2 tbsps fresh chopped cilantro. This is best when left to sit for like an hour or two so all the flavors can hang. This provides like, 8 grams of protein so you can have energy for the gym.

If you’re looking for like, basic shit to make you feel awesome MINUS a recipe, you can try shit liiiike eating a whole cucumber, which will make you feel less bloated. Also, you could eat a shit ton of garlic to boost your immune system now that it’s in shambles after all your holiday drinking. Lastly, anything with a ton of ginger is going to help your nausea after last night’s black out party. Namaste, skanks.




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