September 4, 2014
Fugly people get excited over Fridays. Betches, on the other hand, love Thursdays. We love getting black out and raging our hot asses off on Thursdays, finally letting go of all the frustrations we accumulated over the week. Even though we hate doing work betches still get stressed out over shit pretty regularly (have we told you about our anxiety problem?) and Monday to Thursday night often looks like Struggle City in terms of having your professional life together.
While Thursday is the best day to finally let go of all the annoying shit that bothered us during the week, it is also the day when we are at our hottest. We have the best outfit picked out and our hair is freshly blown out. We still haven’t suffered from a hangover from a rough weekend night, so we’re at our prime to have a betchy night out, with bros basically waiting in line to talk to us.
This holy day also has a way of being unexpectedly wild. No one really goes out on a Thursday expecting to create some of their craziest memories (or barely coherent thoughts depending on how blackout you were) on a Thursday fucking night. That’s just what makes it ten times better: not being able to predict what can possibly go down. People always set ridiculously high expectations for weekend nights that most of the time fall flat since you always pregame too hard to actually remember/do anything noteworthy. An IDGAF attitude mixed with low expectations for a Thursday night always is a perfect combination for betchy antics to ensue.
Given that you are on our level of ability to rage face and still make it to work or class the next morning, Thursdays provide a nice preview of what your weekend will be like. You get that much more excited about Friday night when you have Thursday night to rehash about over brunch the next morning (while taking an extended break from whatever annoying responsibilities that get in the way at the end of the work week). Nice girls stay in on Thursday nights because ugh “sigh” they have sooo much reading to catch up on or an early staff meeting. Betches say fuck that and truly show that they are the epitome of “work hard, play hard.” Even though we hate doing work, we are still perfectly capable of getting shit done.
Basically, Thursday is the Christmas Eve of the entire weekend. You know the anticipation of Christmas is actually better (and betchier) than Christmas Day. If you don’t go hard on this sacred day, then you are not betchy and probably one of those girls who gets soooo fucking excited about a nice, relaxing night in. Have fun with Netflix while I have fun with Jose Cuervo. It’s Tequila Thursday betches, ever hear of it?