May 4, 2015
Over the weekend, skier Lindsey Vonn announced that she and Tiger Woods had broken up after three years together. No word yet on whether he’s also broken up with his 16 mistresses, but I’m sure they won’t stay quiet for long. Tbh it’s probably a good thing that they’re breaking up for a couple of reasons. First, Lindsey Vonn seems like a sane human, so hopefully she’ll be able to salvage what’s left of her life and find a better man. Second, both of them have pretty much sucked at their sports in the last three years, so it seems like the relationship might be toxic. Tiger might never be the best in the world again, but right now he’s just fucking embarrassing. We wish the best of luck to both of these psychos in whatever comes next for them.