July 9, 2012
In what may qualify as the most off putting development in mixed race relations since the Heidi/Seal divorce, Tina Fey has tried her hand at rapping. Okay, so we understand this is meant to be funny and this 42-year-old mom takes her rap career far less seriously than the decision of which shmear to buy at Zabar’s. But really, this bitch couldn’t get any whiter if she were Claire Danes or like, a fucking albino. The most redeeming quality of this hiphop travesty is that Tina understands she is the personification of the Sunday Times. In fact she embraces it, pointing out that “her president is black and her Prius is blue” as well as that she’s “dropping racks at Nordstrom mutha fucka”.
Apparently Childish Gambino (aka Donald Glover aka the black guy on Community) got his start writing for Tina on 30 Rock so we’re assuming there was some sort of contractual obligation and/or lost bet that caused this. And on the bright side Tina’s 30-second verse is better (funnier) than the entire song which as a whole fucking sucks. So you can fastforward to Tina's rap around the 5:00 mark.
Honestly Teen, we love you and we are forever indebted to you for writing the betch Holy Grail, but we suggest that musically you remain in the realm of Night Cheese. Leave the rapping to Tracy Morgan.