October 20, 2014
Please help. I matched with this guy on tinder about a week ago and was pleasantly surprised when we started to hit it off instead of him opening with a disgusting pick up line. We exchanged numbers and found out that we actually have a lot more than I thought in common: similar outlooks on life, similar tastes in music, both love to travel, are adventurous with food but enjoy eating really healthy, and our birthdays are 3 days apart though we were born in different years. Im 23, he's 27. He has a good job and all around seems like someone I'd like to get to know better. He has been hitting me up daily via text and we've also spoken on the phone twice. I kind of got the vibe that he was trying to wife me up, which to be honest I felt was a little too much too soon, but figured I'd roll with it because he's clearly interested. He also added me on fb and today we made plans over the phone to meet in person over the weekend.
I've been a little hesitant about the whole thing so I naturally decided to e-stalk the shit out of him just in case. Lo and behold, I click on the profile of a girl who commented on one of his pictures and all signs point to her being his gf (read: picstitches of them together with heart captions and other vomit inducing social media behavior....she's 21 so maybe that's to be expected??? Idk.)
As of now, I'm unsure of what to do. Part of me still wants to meet him just to see what happens due to all the shit I mentioned in the first paragraph, but I can't keep the nagging thought away that he's actually a total scumbag for trying to go behind his gf's back. He also definitely put me on limited profile so I couldn't see what she had tagged with him, which is sleazy as fuck. Should I go and see what happens or just blow him off completely? I'm not trying to be a side chick.
It's Not Stalking It's Research
Dear Magnum P.I.,
First off, you need to come back to the real world and quit pretending like 21-year-olds and 23-year-olds are that different. Aside from (hopefully) having an income and cutting down on your going out nights from 4 nights a week to 2, I seriously doubt you’re THAT much more mature in 2 years.
Now that that’s covered, I’m not going to sit on a fake moral high ground and pretend I’ve never Facebook stalked. We’ve all done it. And tbh in this case it sounds like doing so saved you a whooooole lotta grief. Sorry if you want a whole long-winded response, the truth is, it’s simple. Cut contact. End.
Okay, I guess I have more to say than that. Here’s why you cut contact: you don’t know this guy. You’ve never met. Therefore you’re not in any position to try to “trap” him, or enact “revenge” or anything since I doubt he gives a single fuck about what you think you know. Pretty sure if you tried to confront him he’d lie about it, anyway.
And for God’s sake, I don’t care how “great” of a match you think you are on paper. He’s taken, so therefore he’s not the match for you. End. Of. The. Fucking. Story. Jesus. Christ. Why. Do. I . Even. Have. To. Say. It. Also, come the fuck on, are you really putting that much stock in Tinder as a reliable dating service? Okay, crazy.
Why don’t you try a fucking matchmaker,