July 29, 2015
This summer was pretty bleak in terms of summer jams. Maybe musicians felt too weighed down by the pressure of producing the summer jam and in being #tryhards they just kinda failed. I mean, talk about transparent. Do you think we’re dumb? Putting the word ‘summer’ in every single song makes things pretty fucking obvious. We’re looking at you, Adam Levine and Demi Lovato. When you’re trying this hard to get our attention, we get bored.
Regardless, we picked the best of the lukewarm releases of 2015. Ranked by betchiness, make out factor, and ability to not make us sick after hearing it for the 40th time.
#5. Good For You – Selena Gomez
Selena’s all grown up, and she’s kind of killing it. Make out factor is very high on this, but also, the song is shockingly not trying too hard. The combination of this and Selena’s badass post breakup attitude makes it a very betchy song. No mention of the word summer, but we totally don’t mind this song playing while we’re low key summer flinging our way through Cabo.
Unlike "Shake It Off", this actually has a sick beat. It’s super low key playing everywhere, but still makes us want to dance. It’s the kind of song that years later you’ll hear and suddenly be transported to one of your many colorful decisions you made one summer.
Is it just us or are there like 10 songs by The Weeknd playing on rotation all over the place? Whatever, this song was a slow burn for us, but it creeped its way into our hearts. We’re not really sure if he’s singing about drugs or being in love, but either way, we’re on board. Very romantic, kinda. It’s totally betchy because he finds a way to finish the sentence “I can’t” and like, that’s more than we could do.
This song is betchy because it’s singing about boss bitches and drugs. But also because it’s got a catchy beat and gave us a new opening line of “I’m like hey wassup hello.”
This is the best song of the summer and maybe of the year. Omi came out of nowhere like Cady Heron and tore up the scene. Best line is definitely “she’s like do I make you feel like cheating, I’m like no not really” because that is fucking real. This song makes you want to make out and when he sings about popping the question you don’t actually gag, which is saying a lot. The girl in this song is def a betch because she has her shit together, but she’s also like, super supportive and shit.