November 11, 2013
Last night Total Divas premiered on E! and we got to witness the wild and drama filled world of women's wrestling. Seriously, who knew you could get into a betch brawl without pulling someone's hair? But after watching the show we had some questions. Mainly, how can Ariane be expected to undergo anger management when her boyfriend strongly resembles Wreck it Ralph? Is Brie's boyfriend the guy that kidnapped Elizabeth Smart? How could Nattie pee herself and then continue to reference how pissed off she with absolutely no pun intended? Here are the betchiest quotes from the most dramatic divas on last night's episode:
"Being able to rub in to the Bellas that I actually got to shoot for Maxim and my popularity is growing it's kind of fun because they hate it."
"Nikki, what did you think of the match? Did you see all the Eva signs?"
"The last thing I'm going to do is let some newbie come in and take my spot because like, hello I'm Nikki Bella."
Deep thoughts by Nikki: "Stop trying to be me. You will never be me."
"She's lucky I'm a classy girl because if I wasn't a classy girl I'd beat her ass."
"It's a little early in the morning to see Eva half naked and coming out of a pool."
"Whenever I get the opportunity to perform by myself I always use that opportunity to grab the center stage."
::Cut to five minutes later::
"I got nailed so hard it basically caused me to pee..."
"You were careless. You landed on my bladder."
"So this guy in this ugly little put-put blue car just stops. Like seriously can you hurry the f**k up."
"F**k you you stupid a**hole don't you call me a b*tch let me show you a b*tch!"
This post sponsored by Total Divas, brand new Sundays at 10/9c on E!