February 18, 2014
Post-grad life can bring many new and exciting things for a betch. These usually include a new car, #45 graduation money, and a new chance to #107 not branch out by relocating your entire inner circle to a whole new city. It’s like college except we’re like, grown ups!
Inevitably, post-grad life can also bring its share of challenges, like having to pretend to be a productive member of society and needing to justify why you carry a $500 purse when you make a $30k per year salary. Because my parents love me, okay!?
Also, unlike sorority rush, in “real life” you cannot hand pick the people you surround yourself with. Nowhere is this more evident than in the work place, where a betch will be forced to endure awkward moments that even the many hours of being fake-nice during rush couldn't prepare her for.
The following are some examples of people a betch will meet in the work place:
You don’t mind this girl, but you’d never hang out with her outside of the office because she’s like sooo annoying. Either way she’s okay to talk to and you occasionally pretend to be interested in her day.
This person is a betch’s worst nightmare. They are the epitome of #123 TTH and will be the first to tell on you for showing up fashionably late. Seriously? Why do you care!? It’s not my fault the line at Starbucks was so long.
This guy has hooked up with most of the girls in the office. Literally everyone thinks he’s attractive…but you can’t figure out if it’s because he’s actually hot or if it’s because he’s the only decent option in an office full of women. It’s most likely the latter. A wise betch will stay away from this bro. Most betches probably won’t.
This guy knows EVERYTHING about everybody. Often the #148 Maybe Gay Bro, you REALLY want to be friends with him cause he’s like, SUPER sassy, but also fear him because he can spread some pretty nasty rumors Even so, he’s your favorite…except for that time he had everyone place bets on if you were hooking up with the Shady-Ass Co-Worker Bro, cause that was, like, so not cool.
No one knows when exactly this person started working there, just that they’ve been there like, a REALLY long time. For whatever reason, their years of experience have failed to provide them with more money and succeeded in giving them a huge fucking attitude. He/she will most likely hate you. He/she will also most likely live alone with cats.
So betches, grab an Adderall and put on your best fake smile because the office is a different fucking world. And if all else fails, it’s not like you were paying your own rent anyway…