April 10, 2015
Uber - a betch's bestie - wants to drive drunk people around for free. Hallelujah. They're starting this program called UberSafe in Canada, because you need to be drunk to live in Toronto (see: Drake). Basically, you blow into a breathalyzer on a street corner. If you're above the legal limit, so like on a Tuesday at 11 pm, an Uber will be "auto-hailed" and drive you home for free. I'm not sure how this helps Uber make money or anything, but this is absolutely phenomenal.
Normally, when I get drunk and call an Uber I get slapped with surge pricing. Lol throwback to that girl who had a $300 Uber bill. But now when I go out, I'll only have to pay for a one way Uber ride and won't even have to deal with ordering one when I'm blackout. Currently this is only a thing in Canada, but hopefully it'll be in the US soon. But like, what happens when people start puking in Uber cars?