Un-Chill Miley Cyrus Hits On Humanoid Robot Ariana Grande

By The Head Pro

Back yards. Springtime. Singalongs. Sexual experimentation. Inflatable furniture. These are but a few of the trappings of fame and youth enjoyed by one Destiny Hope Cyrus, aka Miley Cyrus. Miley is back at it with her “Backyard Sessions,” best known for that one video of her covering Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” everyone points to when they want to be like “yes-huh Miley can too sing!” (alas, that was many years and inflatable couches ago). The concerts benefit something called The Happy Hippie Foundation, which benefits homeless LGBT youth (unless they give them homes, that claim sounds suspect), and bla bla bla I just wanna see famous people sing.

The latest ‘sesh (as we call it in the biz) features a duet between Ms. Cyrus and America’s favorite cupcake and glitter-fueled robot, Ariana Grande. They rocked some weird animal jammies and sang a duet of Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream it’s Over,” a very chill song. Ariana sounded like the angel she was programmed to be, and Miley sounded like Mac’s mom on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” as is her way. Things got super un-chill, though, when Miley made a pass at Ariana. They uploaded the video to Facebook, because OMG SO EDGY AND KEWL:

Happy Hippie Presents: Backyard Sessions - "Don't Dream It's Over" featuring Ariana Grande

Soooooo thankful for Ariana Grande for being a part of the #backyardsessions!! You're the sweetest little #happyhippie bear-mouse ever! Loooooove you The Happy Hippie Foundation #HappyHippiePresents #dontdreamitsover

Posted by Miley Cyrus on Thursday, May 14, 2015


Here, BuzzFeed made some screencaps for those of you who can’t (or won’t, or both) watch the video because you’re at work, and like omg how do you do it, you seem so busy and important but you really seem to have it all:

Tbh, this is a pretty bush league come-on, Miley. “Are you a mouse or a bear?” SMOOTH MOVE, EX-LAX. She could have at least let Ariana finish before declaring her “the cutest bear-mouse thing I’ve ever seen.” Ariana responds by doing that thing that girls totally don’t do to me all the time, where I’ll be like “I love you,” and they’re all “you’re such a good person.” Except this time Ariana placates her by saying “You’re the cutest unicorn in the world.” Miley gets awk as fuck and declares “I WAS FLIRTING,” because Miley Cyrus is a 13 year old boy with absolutely zero chill.

Is gender a construct? Is Ariana Grande a mouse? A bear? This video has given us a lot to think about, you and I. Take these questions to heart as you go out and enjoy another beautiful afternoon in this wonderful world we live in.

And Miley, for the record:




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