December 9, 2013
Researchers at Kent State University in Ohio show that the more time you spend on your cellphone directly affects how anxious you are thereby negatively impacting your grades.
“Jacob Barkley, Aryn Karpinski and Andrew Lepp studied 500 Kent State University students, each of whom reported their daily cell phone use for the year as well as their level of anxiety and satisfaction with their life. At the end of the year, the students also permitted the researchers to see their official school records for their cumulative grade point average (GPA). Not only was greater cell phone use negatively correlated with satisfaction and happiness indicators, it was also associated with lower GPAs — presumably because the students were more anxious and unable to concentrate on their studies."
... Well, no shit.
Listen Kent State science losers, there’s absolutely nothing we can do about being on our phones all the time. Our phones are like a petulant child, you want to dress it up pretty and always want to know what’s going on in its life but when it’s doing something annoying like the screenshot buttons aren’t working or you can’t slide to answer YOU JUST WANT TO THROW IT AGAINST A WALL. Now, I’ve never been a parent but I imagine my mom has wanted to throw me against a wall for the amount of times I’ve cracked my iPhone screen.
Checking our phones have become second nature and understanding when and how to disconnect is something worth practicing. But I get it, it’s like how do I just “disconnect” when I take such amazing instas? I know I’m gonna break 100 likes because I always do but what if I don’t this time, YOU KNOW?!?!
So if you’re a person with anxiety and you find yourself aggressively texting your friends about bullshit more than twice a day I think it’s safe to say the two are correlated. And if you’re also failing in school well, then you should probably go to life rehab or become a nice girl or something.
Lastly, if you’re not a genius and you’re constantly on your phone, you’re obviously going to do poorly on your tests. I mean, you spent all your time texting and no time studying. And most of those texts were probably to your friends about how anxious supply and demand graphs make you. What you should do is take advantage of an opportunity and use your phone to look up answers during your exam, you morons. Problem solved.