September 23, 2012
What’s worse than a car crash? A trainwreck. And do you know who’s a trainwreck?
Amanda Bynes is a good guess, but even though she can’t seem to keep quiet at Equinox, the girl is smart enough to shut down her twitter account (she once asked her pal Prez Barry for a fave) and lock herself in a dressing room.
From June 2012:
This week’s Verifiably Stupid is brought to you by the Amtrak of dysfunctional families- The Lohan’s.
Like the Montagues and Capulets, Bloods and Crips, or Edward and Jacob, the age old feud of Nickelodeon vs. Disney still burns and Lindzlo was kind enough to weigh in on the situation:
Err- Linds, faux pas.
Oh, so you know what that is. So, like, why, um, why can’t you stop doing it? We are all about you but you’re making it so difficult for us. Please be considerate to your fellow betches, Linds. Mandy is one of us.
Let it be clear we are on your side! We do not think you hit [enter generic Mexican name here]. We know he’s trying to make a quick buck off you. The video on TMZ blatantly shows you only clipped him, and Cher Horowitz will tell you that’s totally OK. The problem is, it’s growing harder to believe you’re not doing something wrong these days when you publically tweet shit like:
But at least you even know where you get it from:
Dina, you slopsticle course. Filming your psychotic break on Dr. Phil was not exactly the smartest move in defending your parenting skills. Honey Boo Boo’s mom feeds her coop “sketti” and Mountain Dew but even she’s more articulate than you. “Can I just go home now?” Yes, please do and don’t come back out.
Condolences for Timmy! Bet he’s rocking out in heaven with Slade! Or Slash- What’s the difference? LOL!
However Deen, you haven’t entirely fucked up. Aliana seems to have a (badly reconstructed face on a) good head on her shoulders. Girl knows to keep her distance from you clan of crazies and only talk in tweets and @ replies.
Michael, you must be such a proud brother. But we would like to know what the other Michael Lohan has to say. After all, it was your sperm that provided us with all the Lol-hans this week and to say thanks, here’s a photo we think you should keep on your desk. Or next to the coke mirror on your coffee table. It would only be apropos.
And for good measure……..
Cause you don't wanna miss a thing