July 26, 2012
Twitter is undoubtedly a culmination of everything happening worldwide from breaking news, to celebrity gossip and unfortunately, vapid musings. We decided to round up some of the most insipid tweets as of recently, and though those targeted are easy ones, there’s a reason for such.
@MileyCyrus...Miley girl, we’re there with you. Not there as in Tennesee or wherever there isn’t a Starbucks in an arm’s reach, but close enough. Less of a concern than our coffee convenience however, is your identity crisis. Lay off the caffeine and take a look in a mirror because your problems are still of the #whitegirl variety. Though Azealia Banks is the shit, her connection with the outerworld isn’t salvia induced. Or maybe it is—what do we know, we’re not Brown.
@EmilyMaynard...Emsicles, is that sarcasm we detect!? So now you think you’re too good for McDonald’s? If you were on Teen Mom where you belong you’d be eating prison food with Jenelle.
@LindsayLohan...SO glad you’ve started to consult others on this because yours have obviously led you astray. Do you want our thoughts because you've physically run out of your own or like, are you running low on supply? Whatever the reason may be, we have a thought for you..well it's more like a question. What channel is Lifetime again? Wait, let me ask my grandma real quick.
@HeidiMontag...Did your iPhone autocorrect “closeted homosexuals who look like mountain goats” to “reading”? PS. We heard there's a wild sale at Walmart for healing crystals.
@HollyMadison...The 140 character limit cut off the part where she went on to say that this was only the third largest amount of dark meat she had in her at one time?
Let’s take the time to commend one of America’s tweetheart @KimKardashian’s 15 and a half million + followers who impeccably combines “The philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard mashed with the tweets and observations of Kim Kardashian” into (half) genius tweets that are, as Cher Horowitz would say “way existential.”
If you any funny/stupid celebrities tweeting funny/stupid things feel free to screenshot that shit and send it our way! firstname.lastname@example.org