August 23, 2012
Jump up and down … kick your heels up and SHOUT! Still in the wedding crashing mode I see, Taylor. You should probably take a cue from Chazz Reinhold and start crashing funerals because after all, you are dating a Kennedy…
Canada’s answer to April Fool’s Day must be August 21st. There are too many jokes that have been and to be made about this engagement but we’re just happy she’s not wearing that 14 karat ring on her middle finger. While there are countless things wrong with this union (his ramen noodle-esque locks, her overgrown teenage angst, eyeliner abuse, etc.) let us rejoice, because previously unbeknownst to us, Brody Jenner is now back on the market.
Signs your 15 minutes are up:
- Your career started on the “Suite Life of Zack and Cody”.
- You were in the made for TV movie “High School Musical” when you were of legal drinking age.
- You’re now 27 and filmed yourself singing “Call Me Maybe” with 18 year olds.
- Your nose job didn’t help.
- You’re #excited to be in the 5th installment of “Scary Movie” filming in the exotic location of Hot ‘Lanta.
- I already forgot who we’re talking about.
Is that fishnet leftover from Shark Week? You know sharks can smell blood from a quarter mile away…try not to have your period in those.
To me, #LiveWhileWereYoung means condom-less sex benders, mountains of cocaine, red soles, black souls and yachts.
Do the X’s imply the porn you will be allowed to be able to make in one week? Because right now the amateur videos you’re making are only turning on pedophilic closeted gay men, is that what you want, Courtney? Well then, good job, because you’re already married to one. Keep the videos coming, the more NSFW the better, because if you’re going to continue to embarrass yourself on the internet, at least get paid the big bucks.
"I feel like you only come over to play with Mason so you can instagram and twit pic him" - Kourtney to Kim, on last week's Keeping Up With the Kardashians