Verifiably Stupid: The Best of Twitter This Week

By The Betches

And you know what we haven’t seen in a while? You in movies. From Laney Boggs to playing with frogs, or snakes, or whatever, you better Tokyo Drift your way to a nail salon STAT.

Okay Choupette, enough with this. Your “daddy” is a genius so we put up with the creepy cat tweets for a while, but as much as we love Uncle Karl, the first thoughts of him and a cat, with body cream…not the most pleasant thoughts. But then we remembered Chanel Spring-Summer ’11 and (breathe out) things are going to be okay between us.

...Been snorting Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo again, Stevie?

Things more fun than being stuck on a boat with the Deen Family:
- Having a heart attack
- Getting lipo-suction
- Drowning
- Cooking
- Going to the doctor

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This nearly gave me a heart attack!

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is currently my favorite TV show but Glitzy, your 15 minutes are up. It was pretty cool that you were the first transsexual micro pig and I definitely thought I wanted one for a sec but if you were too much of a hassle for a family that clips their own toenails, let alone in bed, then you’re not for me. Stop being such a fame whore, it’s desperate.

Kongrats, Kim! You’ve surpassed 16 million twitter followers! You could really do something amazing with that prominent of a voice around the globe. Maybe you could shed some light on apartheid for one. Or the nuclear arms race, terrorism and world hunger, how we could provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women, (Thank you Christian Bale) but PLEASE stop confusing the malleable brains of our tweens by captioning two pairs of blindingly awful heels with a drink produced by Crystal Light. More confusing however, is how those nightmares made it through Kanye’s Closet Takeover.




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