February 11, 2015
Now instead of just finding people to have sex with on Tinder, a few dumb girls are using the app to brag about their sexual encounters. Notably, their sexual encounters with famous athletes.
The night after the Super Bowl victory, Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman went out and partied like a fucking champ. He met a girl named Sabrina, went back to a hotel room, had sex with her and fell asleep in classic drunk guy form. Sabrina decided to take a selfie with passed-out Edelman. And post it to Tinder.
Now this whole situation is just weird. Wouldn't you just post that picture in a group message between you and your closest girl friends? Maybe even send it to an ex if you're feeling especially proud of yourself? Why the fuck would you make it your tinder profile picture?
And all of Edelman's loyal followers got pissed. Apparently, Sabrina has been banned from a handful of Boston nightclubs for putting Edelman on blast. She's since apologized, but this lesson goes for all. Don't drink and Tinder.
But she's not the only one. Meet Stephanie.
Less is known about dear Stephanie. But according to Stephanie, she had sexual relations with Odell Beckham Jr., rookie wide receiver for the New York Giants. She didn't put it so eloquently, but the point is made via her picture on Tinder.
Listen, bitches. If you fuck an athlete, do not put it on a dating site. You look desperate. No average bro will want to compete with an NFL star, and you'll end up alone with an STD.