Weekly Horoscopes, October 30, 2017 - November 5, 2017Betches

Here Are Your Weekly Horoscopes For October 30th-November 5th

Is it cold in here or is it just your heart? Saturn enters its own sign this week and Saturn is totes like, THE winter sign. It might be a great week to stock up on fuckboys mood lighting and fuzzy blankets. I mean, also, we are entering cuffing season, so don't be shocked if your thirst is at an all time high this week. Oh, also, it's a full moon at the end of the week so be prepared for that to fuck up some shit.


Aries

This is the week where you need to confront shared expenses. Ew. It's the first of the month so maybe this just means reminding your roommates to pay rent, or, maybe this is serving as your reminder to pull your own damn weight and pay rent yourself. The full moon at the end of the week falls in your money house while Mars is opposite your sign. Mars can promote arguments, so go with the flow and pay up where you owe money. If you need to ask someone else to quit being fucking cheap and pay their share, maybe wait until next week so they'll be more likely to be understanding.

Taurus

The full moon at the end of the week is the only full moon to take place in your sign all year! As per usual, the full moon means you might have some bumpy roads ahead when it comes to your relationships. You really need to take a fucking chill pill as the weekend approaches, because the problem actually isn't with other people right now—news flash, the problem is you. You're just a little bit more easily annoyed than usual. That's totally fine. Just veg out with Xans/wine until your annoyance passes.

Gemini

In typical Gemini fashion, you've got two different forces at play in your life this week. One is all about that party life. Half of you is sociable, extroverted and ready to keep the Halloweekend party rolling all week. The other influence at play makes you want to work hard and get shit done. This is such the stereotypical "work hard/play hard" week for you. The full moon might create some difficulties with your health, though, so stock up on that Emergen-C for after you indulged your "play hard" side.

Cancer

The things you love most—parties, friends, romance, sex, etc—will cause you the most stress this week. Fuck that shit, right? So, yeah, you'll get to enjoy all the best things about your life, but the full moon at the end of the week also makes sure those things come with strings attached. Don't worry too much about that tension, though; it should totally dissipate by next Sunday/Monday. In fact, since shit won't end up being a big deal to you, try to be somewhat accommodating to the other signs because the full moon is impacting them in bigger ways. Ugh, you are just such a good friend.

Leo

When most signs are fucked up because of the full moon, the lucky Leo betch actually gets a boost from Venus and Mars. The planets promote your ability to communicate effectively. Like, you're normally the "take charge" sign, but, as most other signs will be slacking this week, you'll really have to step up to your leadership role. Seriously, no one is doing this full moon better than you are right now.

Virgo

Shit continues to be fast-paced for you this week. Like, what's new, right? There are parties to attend, errands to run and general fun to be had. You have a strong need to communicate with others and express yourself this week. Of course, the things you want most are the things that get fucked up most by the full moon. Expect some flubs when it comes to your travel plans and communication. Wires get crossed. Shit happens. You'll pull out of it by Sunday.

Libra

The full moon on Friday will make you stress about your finances. Wait, is pay day this week or next week? Shit. You might even have some disputes when it comes to where you make money or how you spend it. Fortunately, most of this shit really clears up and resolves itself by next Sunday. Also, Mars makes your sign feisty this week. Which might be a good thing in the bedroom, but won't serve you well in the boardroom. Keep a lid on the attitude at work.

Scorpio

YAS QUEEN! This is your motherfuckin' time! You are empowered as shit, because the Sun is in your sign along with Mercury and Jupiter. Sort of unfortunately, the full moon at the end of the week is the only one opposite your sign all year. You'll most likely be stressed about something going on in your relationships with significant others and your best friends. This week's stress will be gone by the start of next week, so you can go back to fully enjoying your best time of the year.

Sagittarius

Some signs take a direct hit from the full moon. In your sign, though, the full moon impacts you in more sneaky, sinister ways. WTF? You'll probably have that shitty feeling that you're forgetting something or something just isn't quite right. You might be slightly more forgetful this week, so just like, double-check that you turned off your straightening iron when you leave the house for work. That weird agitation caused by the full moon will disappear by the start of next week. Whew!

Capricorn

You're kind of, like, the social queen of everything this week. Good for you, Capricorn betch. Your audience might be a little younger than you. Yes, you do have so much to teach and share with them about what makes for the best chaser and how to cure a hangover. Since the other signs are going all crazy with the full moon, they'll probably want to vent and bitch to you about other people. Don't get in trouble by playing the middle man or stirring the pot, you little pot-stirrer, you. Try to keep the peace until everyone's mood gets better by Sunday.

Aquarius

The Sun is still pretty fucking high in your chart so people are keeping their eyes on you. Don't worry—it's in a good way. Still, you'll feel pulled between daily demands of work/school and the fun shit you want to do. You might have to turn down an awesome invite this week so you can like, IDK, keep your job or not fail out of college or something. That totally sucks, but you should probs remember that you can't keep everyone happy.

Pisces

The full moon is making you clumsy AF. Maybe just pack an extra shirt with you to work when you inevitably spill your coffee or crack an ink pen all over yourself. Also, you're more likely to be distracted when it comes to transportation, so here's your friendly reminder to put your goddamned phone down when you're driving. Like, do you want to be a PSA? I didn't think so. Be careful when it comes to slips of the tongue, too. You're more likely to mouth off in the week ahead and get in trouble for it. Good news: Things get a lot better for you after Friday and you're in the clear by Sunday!

 




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