December 15, 2014
No betch would ever admit to stalking a guy’s Snapchat best friend list, but TBH we all have been there.
It’s the easiest way to tell if a bro is fucking weird and only snaps guys (WTF are you snapping your frat brothers that much? Pics of your newest Patagonia pullover?) or if he is a total SAB and has three girls next to each little gold star. I wonder what Lucy, Rachel, and Shannon all need to tell you over Snapchat – somehow I doubt it’s about how cute their puppies are.
Snapchat best friends are how you know who’s sleeping with who. Your bestie in RL could tell you she’s totally over her ex yet you notice he’s been her number 1 Snapchat best friend for over two weeks. Clearly she isn’t snapping him selfies with the caption “I’m soooo over you.” More like “I wanna get back under you.” Betches have to learn to cover their tracks better because there’s no better way to show you can’t move on than by having your ex on your Snapchat best friend list.
The traditional way to get a feel for who a guy is talking to excessively (AKA whose pants he’s trying to get into) was by scrolling through his Facebook wall or if we’re really going to go back to the prehistoric days – his top friends on Myspace. Thanks to Snapchat betches can now drive themselves crazy over whether or not their back burner bro has found another betch to obsess over.
Bottom line is it’s not betchy to become too fascinated by this shit because nothing says batshit crazy like texting the bro you have been hooking up with and being all “Who’s katiexoxo?????”
If that bitch stays on number one for over a week though you probably should be realistic and move the fuck on because in today’s culture nothing says “I am sleeping with this person and probs being shady about it” than having them on your Snapchat best friends list.