January 13, 2015
Listen up Betches, we’ve partnered with the movie The Boy Next Door to bring you our take on a tale as old as time: the hazards of dating younger guys. Check out our advice, then catch the movie premiere on January 23rd and see how you’d feel if that younger guy was shirtless Ryan Guzman.
Dear Betch—So my 28th birthday was last week (don’t judge) and I am having a serious dilemma. I am a mom and recent divorcee that’s back in the dating game. Recently, I met this amazing guy (we’ll call him Jay). Jay works for the landscaping crew that mows my lawn every month. What started off as subtle flirting turned into exchanging numbers, texting, and going on occasional dates. We’ve been talking for a few months now, and stupid me didn’t think to ask him an important question right off the bat: his age. See, Jay looks older and acts more mature than guys his age…and has THE most bangin’ bod. But it turns out he’s only 18… I’m really attracted to him in every way, but I feel like such a creep. Should I go through with trying to make this work, or am I completely wrong for this?
Dear Mrs. Robinson,
Normally, I’d say go for a younger guy—within reason. Like, if you were a senior in college and wanted to hook up with a freshman, I’d take the unpopular opinion of supporting it as not creepy. But—at this is a huge but (no Beyoncé)—28 to 18 is like, a really big difference. Think about it…when I was 18 I was either in high school or college, depending on when you asked, and my idea of responsibility was like not getting blackout on a Wednesday and doing my homework, and that was pretty much it. Maybe I fed my betta fish every couple days, I don’t remember.
Anyway, I’m not 28 yet but I can infer that since you have a kid and got married you’re literally worlds above this guy in terms of life experiences and maturity. I’m shocked you two can relate to each other, period. I feel like there are two outcomes to this situation: option one, he flat-out refuses to commit to you (did you commit to anything other than like, pizza rolls at age 18?) and you end up being the sideline chick to some girl in his Algebra class. Embarrassing. Option two, he becomes a stage 17 clinger because high schoolers all think their relationships are going to last forever (remember Romeo & Juliet)? I’ll let you ponder which is worse. Either way, this sounds like a great idea to almost be jailbait. 0/10 would not recommend.
Stay out of Cougartown,