January 16, 2015
A few years ago some betches at Yale put their big brains to work and came up with the term SWUG - Senior Washed Up Girl. It’s a blanket term all those upperclassmen who can’t even pretend they GAF anymore. As second semester rolls around, we want break down what it really means to be a SWUG.
The key to owning your last year or three in college is to realize you’re just above it. SWUG life is a dream for all those who don’t want to traverse a sticky dance floor in heels at 1am because SWUGs don’t leave their apartment and don’t wear heels. The whole 'washed up' part comes from the idea that your best years are behind you once you hit the big 2-0, which is a joke because Chrissy Tiegen is 29, Yoncé is 33 and Meryl Streep and her million Oscars are 65. I guess if you think your best years mean your one year getting hit on by sweaty, mustachioed ‘brothers,’ then maybe that is true. Otherwise welcome to SWUG.
Anyone who thinks SWUG is derogatory is an idiot because SWUGs made it up and SWUGs live it up, in a blanket. It’s a real joy being able to buy your own alcohol without a shitty fake and drink it in slippers and sweats while watching The Good Wife. While freshman pre-game across campus with Dubra that their weird roommate’s older brother bought, SWUGS get drunk on alcohol that isn’t disgusting.
What are some telltale signs that you’re in the midst this magical time? You dress for the weather. Suddenly no tights and 9 degrees isn’t as appealing. You stop caring who’s hooking up with who because you don’t even know who anyone is anymore and who really gives a shit? Not you! You stop randomly hating any other girls on campus for being competition, which was stupid anyway.
SWUGS still work out and have shit going on, like jobs, but they stop caring about everyone else on campus because it's exhausting to keep up with people who won't shut the fuck up about doing nothing.