September 30, 2016
Have you ever wondered what alcoholic beverage is the truest representation of your innermost self? Same, which is why we took the liberty of deciding for you. When you black out tonight take comfort in knowing that, at the very least, you’re on brand.
Author’s Note: This article refuses to recognize the supposed “new” zodiac alignments making the rounds on the internet. NASA can pry Aquarius from my cold dead hands.