July 28, 2015
Most betches would say that no one, besides their CFO dad, uses email anymore. That’s why Blackberry is basically going out of business–it’s 2015 and sending an email is like sending a fucking carrier pigeon.
Being required to own and operate an email account is quite possibly the worst thing to happen to us since we graduated college and realized drinking heavily on weeknights isn’t something everyone does regularly past the age of 22. If we didn’t have to eventually get jobs and become functioning members of the world, email would literally be rendered obsolete.
The actual importance of email doesn’t become clear until you get your first job. Obvy in college, you only ever checked your email if the social chair sent out info about Homecoming and Greek Week events. This left you with about 500 unread emails from your professors after each semester. #Delete.
Once you reach this heartbreaking point in adulthood, the type of email address you have will reveal more about you than any of the bullshit you put on your resume.