It’s only the beginning of October, and betches everywhere are already embracing the basic fall stereotypes. We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with it. We’ve already cried over summer ending, discussed everything we love about fall, and we’re ready to take on everything the season has to offer in full force. But as much as we pretty much agree on the best parts of fall, we all have our one favorite. Let’s determine what your go-to fall staple says about you.
You spend all season decked out in fur and leather and your vegan friends hate you for it. Whether you’re shopping for knit beanies that bring out your hipster side or buying huge snakeskin totes that make you look petite AF in comparison, you’re all about being trendy. You own enough scarves to avoid any repetition and you don’t even care if they keep you warm. In fact, your outfit looks so effortless, no one even knows you spent two hours studying outfits from the Paris Fashion Week Snapstory or sending options to your group chat. After all, you wouldn’t buy those new mid-calf booties without asking your friends first if they look good on you first, right?
If you claim your favorite part of Fall is football season, we would like to officially call you out on your bullshit. If you’re a betch that’s currently following football, there’s probably a reason for it, and we’re guessing your boyfriend asked you to join his fantasy football league. Let’s be real: the only draft you’re familiar with is the A/C bill you get yelled at for every month, but you decided to join to be supportive. Team spirit can be kinda cute, right? No- not right. All of a sudden, your Sunday brunches are replaced by hours of yelling and chicken wings. You may have been able to chug five beers in college, but we all know you’re counting down the days until game days are just a distant memory and you don’t have to re-wear the same jersey every fucking week.
The barista might roll her eyes at you and spell your name wrong, but you’re living this season to the fullest when it comes to the most basic fall flavor. Whether you’re into the lattes, the muffins, or the scented candles, you are even more basic than any Buzzfeed quiz has already told you. We forgive you, though. Embrace the pumpkin while you still can. Sooner or later it will be bikini season again and you’ll probably regret that pumpkin spice cupcake you ordered to enhance your latte pic. #Eatingfortheinsta has its consequences.
If you’re that girl who waits all year for the one night she can dress up in some overdone slutty costume and get a new cover pic out of it, we feel kind of sorry for you. Betches love a good Halloween party, but keep in mind, it’s not even halfway through October. It’s a little obsessive to be planning every detail of your costume, and this applies whether you’re planning on being a bunny or some presidential candidate. This isn’t the time to try out your new academic side and everyone knows politics and cleavage don’t mix. Get too carried away and the scariest part of your Halloween will be the amount of candy bars you pounded in the Uber ride on your way home at 3AM. Trick or treat.