August 25, 2014
I don’t read People regularly but the Disick headlines have been everywhere this summer. It’s no secret that Scott has had a rocky past with alcohol, being responsible, and having a job. (Has he ever had a job?) But it seems like everyone’s favorite Lord is going through a particularly rough patch while Kourtney is pregnant with their third child.
Since nobody legitimately keeps up with the Kardashians, I’ve chronicled Scott’s summer for all those concerned.
June 22nd - Scott celebrates a belated 31st birthday. He ends the night in the Hamptons hospital for alcohol poisoning.
June 23rd - Scott vows not to drink until Kourtney gives birth, because obviously that’ll help long-term.
July 23rd - French Montana (who has become quite the little attention whore) posted this truly terrifying picture of Scott holding a wine glass and Fat Joe looking incredibly flamboyant and pissed off. Oh and let’s talk about the fact that ‘French’ (and 'Fat') are legitimately wearing plus-sized women’s clothing.
July 26th - Rumors spread that Kourtney and Scott are calling it quits but apparently their fights were just staged for the show. What else is new?
August 5th - French Montana needs more attention and posts a picture of Scott and him eating lobster. He is the worst and Khloe should dump him.
August 11th - Scott reports that someone stole $4,000 in cash from Kourtney and his' bedroom in the Hamptons. They were also robbed in LA earlier this year. Probably should vet your cameramen better.
August 13th - Scott Disick orders 45 boxes of Chicken Fries at Burger King - totaling $205 dollars. This could be the loudest cry for help of all.
August 18th - Scott and KoKo host an outdoor dayger at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut (sounds super fucking fun..) where Scott was allegedly drinking water “looking miserable.” Sounds about right.
August 19th - Scott tells People magazine that he’s “good” and “living healthy.”
Where does that leave Scott? Unclear. We will have to stay tuned and hope the Lord steers clear of breakables. Nobody wants to repeat the unprovoked mirror punch of 2010.