Whitney Port stopped by Cosmopolitan to promote her recent product partnership with Palm Breeze, a canned alcohol spritzer that seems just as bland as she is. Cosmo didn’t really know what to do with her when she showed up unannounced lugging around hundreds of the cans (she’s clearly a little lost after The Hills), but took pity and decided it might be mildly amusing to videotape her making a cocktail while blindfolded. The results were very unimpressive, to say the least.
The video starts with Whitney putting the blindfold on and confessing that, “Oh God,” she’s “already nervous.” This is mistake number one, as we all know the best cocktails are made when you’re already three to four drinks deep and only acutely aware of what you’re even doing. She begins feeling around for the ingredients, and almost 30 seconds later only has ice in her cup. Remind me to never invite her to a pregame.
Next she adds in the most amazingly refreshing and delicious cocktail essential: a can of Palm Breeze. Did we mention how great Palm Breeze is? Please buy some. For Whitney’s sake.
Then there’s a lot happening with lime and syrup and it’s taking forever. A bunch of tequila goes in (ok, respect) and a century later she finally finishes. She says it’s “really, actually, not bad!” which is bullshit because her technique was terrible the entire time.
Based on this video, I’m really just questioning whether Whitney drinks at all. Call me Houdini, but I’m pretty sure I could make a damn good vodka soda with a blindfold, handcuffs and 15 frat bros annoying me from all angles. Step up your game, Whit.